Escape to Paradise: Enashipai Resort & Spa, Naivasha, Kenya
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the lush, sprawling beauty that is Escape to Paradise: Enashipai Resort & Spa in Naivasha, Kenya. Forget your perfectly curated travel blogs – this is the messy, honest truth, served with a side of "did I really eat that much breakfast?" and a healthy dose of "whoa, the view!" Get ready for a review less about bullet points and more about… well, feeling the experience.
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Right, let's get this party started.
Arrival and First Impressions (Accessibility, Service, and "Wow" Factor)
First things first: Getting to Enashipai is surprisingly easy. The airport transfer (airport transfer, Taxi service) they offer? Smooth as butter. The drive itself is a mini-adventure, the landscape gradually shifting to this vibrant, semi-arid paradise. And the entrance? Whoa. It's like stepping into a movie.
(Accessibility, Accessibility, Accessibility!) Let’s talk accessibility. My experience? Okay, it’s not perfect – few places truly are. But, and this is a big but, they make a genuine effort. The main areas, walkways, and restaurants are mostly wheelchair accessible (Facilities for disabled guests; Elevator). The staff genuinely seem to want to help. Not just the polite nodding, but the "how can we make this work for you?" kind. They got the gist. The rooms themselves are a bit of a mixed bag. Some are more accessible than others, so be sure to specify your needs when booking. Check in (Check-in/out [express]; Check-in/out [private]; Front desk [24-hour]) was rapid, efficient, and friendly. Contactless check-in/out is a perk for these times, too.
This leads to a minor, honest glitch – my room, while lovely, required me to walk outside to get to the dining area. Not a huge deal for some, but let's say the Kenyan sun will hit you quick when you're strolling. It's things like this, though, that make it real, ya know? It's not all perfect, but they’re clearly trying.
Rooms, Glorious Rooms (And a Little Bit of Wi-Fi Mania)
My room? (Available in all rooms, Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens) Seriously, it felt like they'd thought of everything. The bed? Cloud-like. The bathroom? Spacious. The balcony? Had a view. A view of the lake, the rolling hills, the… well, everything. The design is all about blending with nature – earthy tones, natural materials. It’s instantly calming. They weren't kidding about the free Wi-Fi in all rooms! (Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!, Wi-Fi [free]). It's strong, too! I needed to upload a ton of images and no problems. There's also Internet access – LAN, though I didn’t use it. The free bottled water was a lifesaver in the heat. My only problem? Actually leaving it.
Dining: A Foodie's Paradise (with Buffets!)
Okay, food. Let’s do it (Dining, drinking, and snacking, A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant, Bottle of water). Where do I even begin? The breakfast buffet? My god. It's an experience. You've got your Western breakfast, complete with freshly baked pastries, and your lovely Asian breakfast. You have your international cuisine in the restaurant, which is fantastic. And oh, the fruit! So fresh, so vibrant. I probably ate my weight in pineapple alone. I also had a really delicious A la carte in the restaurant, and the coffee? Really excellent. (Coffee/tea in restaurant). And the poolside bar (Poolside bar) is amazing for cocktails and snacks while you're relaxing. Happy hour (Happy hour)? Yes, please! The staff were genuinely helpful with all the food service. (Breakfast service, room service [24-hour]).
But I will be honest. The sheer volume of options at breakfast can be a little overwhelming at first! But hey, problems, problems.
Things to Do: Relaxation Central
Okay, let's talk relaxation (Things to do, ways to relax, Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]). The Spa (Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom)? Pure bliss. The massage (Massage) was so good. So good, I nearly snored. Did I mention the pool (Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor])? Infinity pool. Yes, with a view. So gorgeous. And the fitness center (Fitness center, Gym/fitness)? Well, I saw it. Let's just say I spent more time admiring the view from my lounger. They also offer things like body scrubs and wraps if you want to get fancy. The foot bath was a nice touch too. The views are incredible.
Cleanliness, Safety, and Peace of Mind in Times of… Well, Everything (Safety and Hygiene)
(Cleanliness and safety, Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment) Okay, you can't ignore what's happening in the world. Enashipai really takes this seriously. I felt incredibly safe. The staff are all masked, hand sanitizer everywhere, and they're constantly cleaning. They've got safety/security feature, security [24-hour], and CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, too. Even more impressive is that some rooms have an option to opt-out of room sanitization. I was super impressed with the professional-grade sanitizing services. The food prep areas look immaculate. Individually wrapped food options made me feel comfortable, which adds to the safe dining setup. You definitely get a sense that they're doing everything they can to keep you healthy and comfortable.
The Extras: Little Touches That Matter
(Services and conveniences, Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center) The daily housekeeping was flawless. Honestly, the little things, like the complimentary bottle of water in your room every day, make a difference. There's a convenience store (Convenience store). The concierge (Concierge) was super helpful with arranging transport. Everything is designed to make your life easier. They also have a gift shop.
The Quirks, The Imperfections, The Things That Make it Real
Okay, let's get real for a second. No place is perfect. There were a few minor hiccups. The wifi in certain areas was a tiny bit patchy at times (Internet). The "shrine" (Shrine)? It's a little tucked away. And, I’m not going to lie, I went a little overboard with the breakfast buffet
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Mantris Hotel Visakhapatnam's Hidden Paradise
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into a messy, wonderful, and totally opinionated adventure at Enashipai Resort & Spa in Naivasha, Kenya. Forget pristine itineraries, we're going for raw, unfiltered, and hopefully hilarious. Let's see if I survive this, let alone enjoy it.
The "Getaway That Might Not Actually Get Away" Itinerary (aka, A Real-ish Timeline of Shenanigans)
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Expectations (Followed by Mild Disappointment… but It's Okay!)
- 8:00 AM: The "Oh God, Did I Pack Everything?" Panic. The pre-trip anxiety kicking in. Did I remember sunscreen? My malaria pills? More importantly, did I pack the good snacks? (Answer: No. Rookie mistake). I'm picturing myself like a seasoned travel influencer, instead of a stressed-out, slightly-clumsy person.
- 10:00 AM: Airport Chaos (JKIA, Nairobi). Okay, so "chaos" might be a strong word. More like a coordinated dance of slightly-delayed flights, baggage carousels that think they're comedians, and the eternal hunt for a decent, not-overpriced coffee. Found a terrible one – instantly regretting not packing the Aeropress.
- 12:00 PM: The Drive to Naivasha. (AKA ROAD TRIP!) The moment of truth. The driver is a nice guy, but it's a little too quiet—the silence is a bit awkward. I decide to strike up a conversation. It’s hard to tell the difference between the dusty scenery and my own grimy windows. The landscape is pretty, though, in an "endlessly beige" kind of way.
- 2:00 PM: Arrival at Enashipai - The Photo Op. Okay, finally! Pulled up to Enashipai. It looks gorgeous! Lush green lawns, a sprawling reception area, and a view that takes my breath away (quite literally, after the long drive). The initial impression? Pure Instagram gold. I could totally get used to this.
- 2:30 PM: The Room Reveal. (And the Slight Interior Design Critique) The room is HUGE. Like, ridiculously huge. My internal monologue: "Okay, this is impressive. Wait… is the bed really that firm? And maybe the floral wallpaper is a bit…much? But the balcony! The balcony is perfect." Settling in. Feeling less fancy, more tired. The toiletries are nice, though.
- 3:00 PM: Lunch (And the "Is This Really All I Can Eat?" Regret) The buffet is… fine. A little lacking in that "holy-moly-this-is-amazing" factor. I’m overwhelmed by the sheer variety of food and immediately overfill my plate. Trying to be healthy-ish (lots of salad), but secretly eyeing the tempting desserts. This will be a recurring theme.
- 4:00 PM: Pool Time (aka, The Great Sunscreen Application Failure). Sunscreen? Check. A floppy hat? Check. The ability to apply sunscreen evenly? Apparently not. Feeling like a lobster already. But, the pool is stunning, the water is cool, and I swear I can hear the stress melting away. Bliss. Until I realize I forgot my book.
- 6:00 PM: Evening Stroll & The Sunset Spectacle (Dramatic Pause). Wandering around the grounds of the resort as the sun dips below the horizon. It's genuinely breathtaking. Colors exploding across the sky. I find myself just standing there, mouth agape. Suddenly, I get the "vacation glow".
- 7:30 PM: Dinner & The Battle of the Mosquitos. Dinner. Mosquitoes. A constant, irritating, buzzing presence. The food this time is better, thank goodness! But I spend half the time swatting and the other half trying to enjoy my meal. My inner grump slowly starts to resurface.
- 9:00 PM: Early Night (Blame it on the Lobster-Like Sunburn). I pass out. Exhausted and happy.
Day 2: Lake Naivasha, and The Unforeseen Adventures!
- 7:00 AM: Wake up! (In excruciating pain from sunburn). The sun, it seems, really hates me.
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast. Scrambled eggs, but at least the coffee is good.
- 9:00 AM: Lake Naivasha Boat Trip.
- The Start of the Adventure: Stepping on the boat feels like stepping into a wildlife documentary. The lake is calm, the air is fresh, and I feel utterly and completely alive. I even spot a fish eagle!
- The Hippo Spectacle: Suddenly, a grumpy looking hippo is lurking just below the surface, and quickly disappears. I squeal and frantically wave my camera.
- Bird Island: We head over to a small island filled with, well, birds. They are everywhere, and I can feel a renewed appreciation for ornithology. It truly lifts my spirits.
- The Verdict: This boat trip? Absolutely worth the trip.
- 12:00 PM: Hell's Gate National Park (aka, The Cycle of Doom). A bit of an exaggeration, maybe. I thought it would be all stunning scenery and cool breezes. Instead, it was sun beating down, uneven gravel, and a bicycle that clearly hated me. The "easy" cycle ride turned into the "do-I-have-to-push-this-thing-uphill" nightmare.
- 1:00 PM: Rest Stop & The "Oh God, I'm Going To Melt" Moment. Found a small shaded spot to recover. Ate my packed lunch, which was good. But definitely feeling the heat.
- 2:00 PM: The Hike & The Spectacular View. (Worth it!) Hiking through the gorge. The landscape is gorgeous, even if my legs feel like jelly. Reaching the top, the view is unbelievable. Totally worth the sweat and the near-death experience on that confounded bicycle.
- 3:00 PM: Back to Enashipai for Spa Day The spa looked so inviting. I get a massage and finally, finally, relax with peace.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner and drinks (Finally, Some Good Food!) Dinner and a couple of drinks at a restaurant at the resort. Tonight is good.
Day 3: Departure (AKA, The Sad Goodbye… and the Promise to Return!)
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast and the "I Don't Want This to End!" Blues. Eating breakfast with a view over the green landscape. Contemplating the brevity of life (and the need for one more pastry).
- 9:00 AM: Last-Minute Souvenir Shopping. Scouring the resort shop for gifts. Why is it always so hard to choose the perfect something for everyone?
- 10:00 AM: Final Reflection. (And a Deep Breath). Sitting on my balcony, soaking in the last moments of the view. Remembering the ups and downs. The beauty of the landscape. The mosquito bites. The laughter. The unexpected bike ride. The whole shebang.
- 11:00 AM: Check-out & The Longing Gaze. Saying goodbye to Enashipai. It feels weirdly emotional. It wasn't perfect, but it was real. And I'd come back in a heartbeat.
- 12:00 PM: The Road Trip Home (and the Promise of More Adventures).
- The Drive: The drive back to Nairobi felt less beige this time. I was too busy reliving the memories.
- The Airport: The airport… more chaos! Almost missed my flight!
- The Verdict: It's been a wonderful adventure.
Final Verdict:
Enashipai, you were a wild ride. A beautiful, messy, unforgettable ride. I'd book again tomorrow. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a nap… and maybe some aloe vera.
Escape to Paradise: Parkhotel Herne Awaits!
Why do people *always* seem to cough directly onto their hands on the subway?
Oh. My. GOD. I swear, every time I'm crammed shoulder-to-shoulder with humanity, it's guaranteed. Someone, somewhere, is about to unleash a volcanic eruption of germs directly onto a surface they'll then use to grab the pole. Look, I get it, the urge to cough can be primal. But *please*, people, CUP YOUR MOUTH. I'm not asking for surgical precision here, just... don't be a biological weapon. I was on the 7 train and the woman in front of me sneezed, *directly* onto her bare hand. Then she started rummaging in her purse. I just… I wanted to wave a white flag, surrender, and get off at the next stop, which was *very* far away.
Is there any way to avoid the dreaded 'rush hour' crush?
HAHAHA! Avoid rush hour? That's like trying to herd cats while blindfolded in an active volcano! Seriously, unless you're independently wealthy and/or have a time machine, you're pretty much SOL. I've tried it all! Leaving five minutes earlier, leaving fifteen minutes later, jumping on a random line thinking *this* is the secret, and it’s always just a bigger, slower hell. My advice? Embrace the sardine life. Accept your fate. Become one with the sweaty armpits. Maybe invest in noise-canceling headphones and pray for a miracle. I actually met someone once, who said the rush hour was "beautiful." I think they were on heavy drugs.
Why does smell always intensify tenfold on the subway?
Oh, the smells. *The smells.* It's like a perfumery for the unsavory. You've got the delightful aroma of stale hot dogs mingled with the ever-present scent of… something vaguely metallic and vaguely… questionable. Then there's the body odor symphony, with its high notes of desperation and low notes of regret. The worst, though, is when someone is eating something *extra* pungent. I was once trapped next to a guy who was eating a durian. A. DURIAN. I swear, it nearly peeled the paint off the walls. I had to fake a phone call and move, because I thought I actually knew what I was going to smell next. The problem is they are all there in the air.
What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen on the subway?
Okay, this is a tough one because, let's be honest, the subway's a goldmine for weirdness. I've seen a guy playing a didgeridoo, a woman knitting a sweater for a small dog, and a full-blown breakdancing battle at 3 AM. But the weirdest? Probably the time I saw a guy carrying a live, full-sized inflatable T-Rex. Just… strolling onto the train like it was the most normal thing in the world. He even read a newspaper! I wanted to ask him *everything*. Why the T-rex? Where was he going? Was he just trying to brighten people’s day? I almost went up to him (after making sure the T-Rex wasn't going to eat me, of course), but I chickened out. Regret it to this day. I would have loved to be a part of that story.
How do you deal with the constant delays?
Delays. Oh, yes. They are the bane of my existence. I've developed some coping mechanisms. One is to channel my inner Zen master and tell myself it's "quality time," like I'm *choosing* to be squished in a metal tube for an extra half-hour. Another is to become intimately familiar with all the safety announcements, the ones about "person under the train" especially. But honestly? Sometimes, I just scream internally. And sometimes, I actually *do* scream. Into a pillow, preferably. I have a whole routine, in my head. I start planning alternate escape routes in my head. I calculate the monetary loss of being late to work, and I start seeing how to fit that money into my life. Then, I take a deep breath and try to find something to stare at. You know, a sign, or a person. Sometimes, it works. Sometimes, it doesn't. But at least, I scream later.
What's the worst subway etiquette transgression in your opinion?
Oh goodness, where do I even *begin*? There's the manspreading, the playing music out loud without headphones, the walking slowly in the middle of the hallway, the people who insist on having full-blown conversations on their phones. But the absolutely *worst*? Blocking the doors. Blocking the doors during rush hour should be a crime punishable by… well, something unpleasant. Because then everyone gets stuck. And then everyone is angry. There's been times in the past where I've had to tell the person to move. I didn't want to deal with the yelling. I hate the yelling. I am a very non-yelling person. But the doors blocked. I'm still mad.
Should I be afraid of rats?
Look, don't go looking for them, but I'm not gonna lie to you. Yeah. There are rats. You'll probably see at least one at some point, darting across the tracks, or maybe even just casually strolling around on a bench. Most of the time, they're just doing rat things. They're not actively trying to get you. But, like, if one runs over your foot, try not to scream. Maybe. I'd probably scream. And honestly, good for you. I would probably run out of the subway. I once saw a rat that could have passed for a small dog. I almost had a heart attack. I think it saw me, too, and it scurried across the tracks, and I swear I heard a tiny little "Eeeehhh!" It's the circle of underground life, I guess.
Any tips for staying sane down there?
Okay, deep breaths. First, invest in good headphones. Seriously, a good pair of noise-canceling headphones is a lifesaver. Also, download some podcasts, audiobooks, or something that'll keep you entertained.City Stay Finder
