Escape to Paradise: Oxygen Holiday Resort Awaits in Owerri!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the alleged “Paradise” that is Escape to Paradise: Oxygen Holiday Resort in Owerri! Honestly, after sifting through all those bullet points, my brain feels like I've been through a blender. Let's see if this place lives up to the hype, shall we? And, as a self-proclaimed armchair traveler, I'm especially keen on places that promise paradise.
First Impressions (and a Rambling Start):
Okay, so, Accessibility is a big deal. I’m not personally in a wheelchair, but I always appreciate a spot that tries to be inclusive. The description says "Facilities for disabled guests," but, you know… details, details! We need to know about ramps, elevators (yep, they have one!), and accessible rooms. Fingers crossed they've really thought this one through. (More on that later, I hope!)
Getting There & Around (Important, Even if Boring):
They have airport transfer. Whew! Because navigating Owerri's roads after a flight? That’s a mission. Plus, they've got car parking [free of charge] and on-site parking. Bonus. Seems like a pain-free arrival, hopefully, which is a good start. They also offer taxi service and even valet parking. Fancy! Me? I'm more of a "find-my-own-parking-and-pray-the-car-is-still-there" kind of gal, but hey, options are always nice.
Safety First (Except for, You Know, Maybe My Sanity):
Right, let's talk about Cleanliness and safety. These days, it's not just about clean rooms, it's about everything. They claim to have the works: Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays. The big one: Professional-grade sanitizing services. Okay, oxygen holiday resort, I'm listening. And here's a kicker: you can even opt-out of room sanitization. I’m guessing they're trying to be eco-conscious (or maybe just covering their liability). Gotta love a place that offers Hand sanitizer everywhere. They've got First aid kits. There's a Doctor/nurse on call – essential, let's be honest. They have CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property, so, um, feel safe I guess. A Front desk [24-hour]? Always a plus. Plus security 24-hour. Good. Good. I like a place that takes it seriously. Now, if they can just keep my sanity intact…
Rooms: The Promised Land?
The rooms, according to the list, are pretty well-equipped. Air conditioning? Check. Free Wi-Fi? Double check! (Important, because I can't live without it). They boast bathrobes, bathtub, hair dryer, in-room safe box, mini bar, satellite/cable channels, separate shower/bathtub, slippers… They even throw in blackout curtains, for those of us who like to sleep until noon. And an extra long bed? Yes, please! Oh, and a desk. They also have non-smoking rooms, thank goodness. Seriously, smoke inside? Ew. But let's be real: how clean are the rooms really? (I may or may not have been scarred by a questionable hotel room experience once.)
Food Glorious Food (and My Stomach’s Fate)
Okay, this is where things get interesting. The dining, drinking, and snacking options seem plentiful. They offer A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant and Western cuisine in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant. They have a Bar, a Poolside bar, and a Snack bar. Room service [24-hour] is a huge win! The Breakfast [buffet] sounds attractive. I’m a buffet fiend. They claim to have Vegetarian restaurant, so points for inclusivity. But can I get a decent cup of coffee? That’s the real question. And what about the quality? Are the dishes actually good? Or is it the usual bland hotel fare? Time to dig deeper…
(And here's where my stomach starts to rumble; I'm a foodie, so food descriptions are, well, everything.)
Things to Do That Aren't Just Lying Around (aka, the Ways to Relax)
Here's where the "Oxygen Holiday" part comes in. They offer a Body scrub and Body wrap, and a Fitness center (which I'll likely avoid - I'm on vacation, people!). There is a Spa, a Spa/sauna, a Steamroom. A Swimming pool [outdoor]? Excellent! (I'd be happy to just float around and forget the world for a while). They have a Pool with view. Nice touch. And a Sauna! Maybe I'd use it. Maybe. They have a Massage. Must have.
But look, let's be honest. Sometimes, all I want is a comfy chair, a good book (or a tablet, I'm not picky), and a view. And what about quiet corners? Do they have a Terrace? I sincerely hope so!
For the Kids (aka, Survival Mode for Parents)
They claim to be Family/child friendly. They have a Babysitting service! (Praise the heavens!) They have Kids facilities! And a Kids meal! That's a sigh of relief for any parent.
Internet, The Lifeblood of the Modern Nomad:
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Thank GOD! It's essential, plain and simple. They also mention "Internet access – LAN" and "Internet services." Fine by me! Work can wait, but my social media addiction… not so much.
Services and Conveniences… or, the Little Things That Matter:
This is where the hotel either shines or crumbles. Air conditioning in public area, Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities. These are all good signs. The Business facilities could be useful if you need to mix business with pleasure (bleh). Currency exchange is convenient, the Gift/souvenir shop is always going to be tempting. And a Convenience store? Score!
The Quirks and the Oddities:
Okay, so some of the more unusual things: They have a Shrine. I have no idea why. I can't even pretend that I know what this is about! Then there is a Proposal spot. Cute but also… a little much? Couple's room? Romantic, I guess, if that’s your thing. And Room decorations? Hopefully tastefully done, and not like, a giant plastic flamingo.
The Unanswered Questions (and My Burning Desires):
So here’s what I really want to know, beyond all the checklists and fancy words:
- What's the vibe? Is it a quiet oasis, or a bustling, noisy place?
- What about the staff? Are they friendly and efficient? Or just going through the motions?
- Is the food REALLY good? I'll eat almost anything once, but I want quality. Give me flavor!
- How is the Wi-Fi performance? I need my Netflix fix!
- The "Oxygen" part is a bit vague. What does it entail? I want a real, experiential thing.
Overall, and the Big Pitch…
Okay, so here’s the messy, honest truth: Escape to Paradise: Oxygen Holiday Resort in Owerri! sounds promising. The long list of amenities suggests they're trying to cater to everyone. BUT, until I see it, feel it, smell it (hopefully good smells!), I'm reserving judgment.
Now, the Big Pitch (because you're here, probably wanting to book):
ARE YOU READY TO BREATHE EASY AND UNPLUG? Escape to Paradise: Oxygen Holiday Resort Awaits!
- Luxury Retreat: Indulge in spacious, well-appointed rooms with all the modern comforts, including that glorious, free Wi-Fi.
- Spa Bliss: Melt away stress with a massage, sauna, or a dip in our pool with a view.
- Culinary Delights: Savor a variety of international and local cuisines at our restaurants or unwind at our bars. 24-hour room service is a lifesaver!
- Safety First: We take your well-being seriously! From our thorough cleaning protocols to our 24-hour security, you can relax with peace of mind.
- Family Fun: We haven't forgotten the little ones! Babysitting services, kids' meals, and kid-friendly facilities make us the perfect choice for families.
**BUT, here is what *I* would add
Incheon Airport's Hidden Gem: Hue House Double Room B - Your Perfect Stay!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to descend into the glorious chaos that is my (potentially disastrous) Oxygen Holiday Resort Owerri trip. This isn't some perfectly curated Instagram post; this is the raw, unfiltered truth, warts and all. Prepare for a rollercoaster.
Day 1: Arrival and the Search for the Elusive Peace
- Time: 6:00 AM - Wake up in Lagos. Ugh. Lagos. The air is thick enough to chew. I am, as always, late. This is a running theme.
- Transportation: Uber to the airport. Driver keeps trying to tell me about his side hustle selling "imported" (read: probably fake) designer watches. Nope. Just get me there, friend.
- Time: 8:00 AM - Flight to Owerri. Finally, some peace. Maybe. I'm eternally optimistic. I packed a book (a real one, not a Kindle – gotta disconnect!), and I'm determined to actually read it during the flight.
- Anecdote: Of course, the peace lasted exactly zero minutes. The toddler behind me decided my headrest was a personal jungle gym. He screamed, he giggled, he threw his juice box. I swear, I considered hiding in the lavatory with my book.
- Time: 9:30 AM - Land in Owerri, which seems to be slightly cooler than Lagos. Relief!
- Transportation: Airport shuttle to Oxygen Holiday Resort. Fingers crossed it’s not a beat-up jalopy.
- Impression: The resort is… well, it's a bit kitschy, I'll be honest. Think "tropical paradise meets slightly faded grandeur." But the air is fresh, and there are palm trees, so I'm sold. For now.
- Time: 11:00 AM - Check-in. This is where things get interesting. The receptionist is lovely, but clearly new. She fumbles with the paperwork, asks me my name three times, and then, after what feels like an eternity, informs me my room isn't quite ready. "But it will be ready in… one hour, Madam!" I hmmmpphh…
- Reaction: One hour? Really? This is the first real snag. I'm supposed to be chilling, not waiting in the lobby with a rapidly growing sense of existential dread.
- Time: 11:15 AM - Decided to chill by the pool. It looks inviting, but there are way too many people in matching swimsuits. I feel instantly underdressed in my hastily packed sundress. I make it a point to secure a good lounging spot.
- Observation: Nigerian Aunties are excellent at staking their claim on sunbeds. It's a strategic art form. Respect.
- Time: 12:00 PM - Finally, the room is ready, and oh my god, it's a suite. Score! It's huge, slightly dated, but clean, and overlooks the pool. I take a deep breath, and sink into the most comfortable chair.
- Emotion: Relief washes over me. I am absolutely starving, though. Need food. Stat.
- Time: 1:00 PM - Lunch at the resort restaurant. The menu is a chaotic mix of Nigerian and "international" cuisine. I opted for the jollof rice (obviously) and grilled fish.
- Anecdote: The jollof rice was… spicy. Like, "tears-streaming-down-my-face" spicy. I powered through it, though. Pride. And the fish was… well, it was fish.
- Opinion: The service was slow, but hey, I’m on vacation! And the view from the restaurant is gorgeous. The real issue is not the slow service is the people at the next table talking about football.
- Time: 2:00 PM - Actually read my book by the pool (finally!). Progress!
- Observation: Watching the world go by is a masterclass in people-watching. I see a couple arguing, a group of friends laughing, and a very determined child attempting to build a sandcastle with approximately three grains of sand.
- Time: 6:00 PM - Dinner at the resort restaurant. This time, I try the isi ewu (goat head stew).
- Anecdote: The isi ewu arrived looking…intimidating. Eyeballs and everything. I took a bite, and OH MY GOODNESS. It was rich, flavorful, and utterly delicious. This is a game-changer. Suddenly, I'm not missing home as much.
- Rambles: Okay, so maybe I'm starting to love this place. The heat is good (after a while), the people are friendly, and the food… the food could be the death of me (in the best way possible). I'm starting to wonder if I should extend my stay.
- Time: 8:00 PM - Drinks at the bar. Order a cocktail that promises to be "sensational." Okay. I’ll hold you to it.
- Emotional Reaction: The cocktail is, in fact, sensational. Maybe things are going to be alright.
Day 2: Culture and Chaos
- Time: 8:00 AM - Attempt to sleep in. Fail. The sound of excited children and loud music has other ideas.
- Time: 9:00 AM - Breakfast. Another opportunity for spicy food. I feel unstoppable.
- Time: 10:00 AM - Decided to take a day trip to the Nekede Zoo.
- Transportation: Hired a local taxi. Negotiating the price was an adventure in itself. I think I won? Maybe?
- Anecdote: The driver, a man named Emeka, was brilliant, regaling me with stories about Owerri and its people. He also tried to sell me his cousin's tailoring business. I politely declined.
- Time: 11:00 AM - Nekede Zoo. The zoo is… well, let's just say it's "rustic."
- Observation: The animals seem to be as bewildered by their surroundings as I am. The monkeys are particularly entertaining.
- Emotional Reaction: I felt a strange mix of sadness and amusement. Sadness for the conditions, amusement at the sheer audacity of it all.
- Time: 12:30 PM - I got carried away, I decided to spend a long time at the zoo, and I found a spot where I could take a selfie with the lion,
- Anecdote: The lion seemed less than thrilled with the selfie request, and Emeka had to distract him with a piece of raw meat. It was too awesome.
- Opinion: It’s not a perfect zoo, but there’s something undeniably charming and authentic about it.
- Time: 2:00 PM - Lunch at a local restaurant. Tried okpa, a delicious bean pudding. Amazing!
- Time: 4:00 PM - Went to the local market to get a souvenir.
- Anecdote: I spent hours haggling for a hand-carved wooden mask. The vendor was a master negotiator, and in the end, I probably overpaid. Worth it. I love the mask.
- Emotional Reaction: Joy! I’m actually doing this! Experiencing the culture!
- Time: 6:00 PM - Back to the resort. Exhausted, but happy.
- Reaction: The pool looks incredibly inviting. I need a drink. And maybe a foot massage.
Day 3: Goodbyes and Reflections (Maybe)
- Time: 8:00 AM - Breakfast, with the last of the spicy jollof rice. I almost cry, knowing I must depart.
- Time: 9:00 AM - Sunbathing by the pool.
- Reflection: So, Oxygen Holiday Resort. It's not perfect. Everything isn't "sensational". Things can be messy, and the pace is slow. The staff is good, the food is good, and the weather is pleasant.
- Time: 11:00 AM Check-out. This time, the check-out process is smooth. Maybe I've become a regular.
- Transportation: Shuttle to the airport.
- Time: 12:00 PM - Flight back to Lagos.
- Rambles: The trip was… something. It was a whirlwind of spicy food, unexpected encounters, and moments of pure joy. It was a reminder that travel isn't about perfection, but about embracing the chaos, the unexpected, and the messiness of life. And mostly, about eating all the food.
- Final Thoughts: I'll definitely be back. I've got some more isi ewu to eat.
Okay, so what *is* this whole thing anyway? Like, the thing we're supposed to be talking about?
Ugh, fine. Let's just say we're here to talk about… things. You know, the everyday, the ordinary, the stuff that makes you want to scream into a pillow sometimes, and other times… well other times, you just end up staring at your toast, wondering if the universe is actually just a really elaborate prank. The kind of stuff that makes you go, "Wait, is this *it*? Is *this* the big adventure?" And then you realize you left the milk out. Classic.
Why are we even doing this? Why not just, you know, *not* do this?
Honestly? I'm not entirely sure. Sometimes I just… I have to. It's like a brain sneeze. The thoughts just bubble up. I had a terrible cup of coffee this morning, and that combined with this… this whole *thing* bubbling under the surface? It's gotta come out. Plus, maybe, just maybe, someone out there will read it and think, "Hey! I thought I was the only weirdo!" And if that's even one person, well, that's a win, right?
Alright, alright, *fine*. Give me some examples, already! What kind of questions are we *actually* answering here?
Well, it could be anything! Like, "Why do I always lose my keys?" or "Is it okay to eat ice cream for dinner?" or "Why did I think that haircut was a good idea?!" Mostly things that keep you up at 3 AM, staring at the ceiling, counting sheep… and failing miserably. I can tell you, I have a *story*, and it goes something like this:
I remember the time I went to this "networking event," and *thought* I was prepared. Had a solid elevator pitch (or so I thought), the right shoes, the whole shebang. Until the pre-event anxiety hit. Suddenly, I was convinced my teeth were the wrong shade of white, the coffee breath was practically visible to the naked eye, and my voice? It was going to crack with every single syllable. I saw someone I *knew* – or rather, *knew of* – and the words just… *failed*. Like, total radio silence in the middle of a sentence about project deadlines. I spent the rest of the night in a corner, strategically positioned near the dessert table. The good news? The mini-brownies were seriously worth it. The bad news? I think I still have brownie crumbs in my purse. The lessons? Never trust pre-event anxiety and always prioritize the dessert table.
So, like, what if I *don't* feel any of this? Am I broken?
Oh, honey, if you *don't* feel anything... well, then either you're a saint or you're a robot. Or, you've mastered the art of compartmentalization, which is a skill I envy. Look, life's messy. It's supposed to be. If you're not making a few mistakes, tripping over your own feet, and questioning everything, then you're probably playing it far too safe. Embrace the glorious, chaotic mess! Besides, that's where the best stories come from.
Is there a right way to do this? A wrong way? Should I be taking copious notes?
Right way? Wrong way? Honey, this whole thing is about *not* doing things the "right" way. Notes? Unless you like feeling like you're back in school, probably not. Let it flow. Let it ramble. Let it be utterly, beautifully imperfect. The only "wrong" way is to try and be perfect, because *perfection is boring*. And frankly, exhausting! I have a whole notebook full of "good intentions" just sitting there, staring me down.
Okay, but what if I actually need, like, *real* advice? Serious stuff?
Bless your heart. Look, while I *might* have a semi-coherent opinion on the best brand of chocolate chip cookies (hint: it involves a sea salt sprinkle), I'm no expert on anything truly *serious*. I am not a therapist, a financial advisor, or a guru. If you’re facing a genuine crisis, please, *please*, go see a professional. I am here for the existential dread and the questionable life choices, but not the real "hold my hand and walk me through it" kind of problems. Those require a level of competence I simply do not possess. Although, I do have a killer playlist for when you're feeling down… (mostly 80s power ballads, prepare yourself).
What happens if I completely disagree with something you say?
Good! Awesome! That's the whole point! Disagreement is the spice of life. Think of it this way: you're allowed to have your own perspective, as long as you’re still at least *sort of* respectful (no name-calling, please, unless it’s, you know, playfully calling yourself an idiot for accidentally wearing mismatched socks). I’m probably wrong about half the things I say anyway. What do I know? I’m just some person, spewing stuff onto a digital page. Go forth and form your own opinions!
Is this even supposed to be helpful?
Helpful? Maybe. Entertaining? Hopefully. Cathartic? Definitely, for *me* at least. Will you find all the answers? Absolutely not. Will you get a chuckle? Maybe. But if this somehow makes you think you're not alone, you're okay with being a little weird, or you just need a small pause in your day to go "Yup, me too," then, yeah, well, maybe it's done its job. I'll take any and all small victories, I've had a rough week.
So, what's next? More of this? More rambles?
Oh, you best believe it. I mean, I have no idea what the future holds. More rambles? Probably. Epic fails? Almost certainly. Existential musings while staring at my cat? Guarantee it. I'm just along for the ride, hoping the internet doesn't implode before I get to share all the crazy thoughts swimming around in my head. So, stick around,Comfort Inn
